Do I have to? How do I sum up into 2 lines the details that surround this small child’s world that he lives inside of every day? How do I tell you that his heart is bigger than any child’s I have ever met, but his attitude can be pretty grandiose, as well? How do I tell you that he’s difficult? He’s difficult to understand — to put into a box. There’s nothing that “works” for him consistently. No nuggets of wisdom to share, only piles of trials and lots of errors.
And yet he looks normal on the outside. He’s adorable and friendly. He’s smart. He’s got lots of friends and they get along well. But he can’t always sit still, and he struggles keeping his hands to himself; it’s typical seven-year-old behavior, they say. But is it? Is it normal to tantrum and cry when things don’t go your way when you’re seven? Is it normal to pout and throw things when you don’t get your way when you’re seven? Is it normal to push button after button of the ones you love? For what? A reaction? An explosion? Why?
What is normal?
All I know is that this complex little boy of mine is different. He’s unhappy a lot of the time and it’s sad. It’s hard to watch, it’s hard to explain, and dang it, it’s hard to write it down on this stupid piece of paper. Tell me about your child… I can’t. I can’t even explain my child and his behavior to his therapist or doctors or my my very own mother. He’s a lover and a fighter. He’s day and night. He’s all of it. And his poor little mind has got to be a tired mess. Is that what I should say?
Do you see my tears on this paper?
Soon you will know him. You will come to know him well. And we will talk. Through emails about his bad choices, in meetings with teachers, and therapists, and the principal. We will pray for him. We will cry for him. We will do our best to help him and help ourselves. Because we are in this together. And we see that he is made in His image, and that he will bring great joy to this world with that enormous heart of his. We will love him. We will love him when it’s hard. We will love him when it’s easy. We will love him. Please, tell me you will love him.