Joseph: Mom, I really wish I could tell my friends about the f-bomb, but I can’t.
Me: (blood pressure rising, brain scanning for the best way to handle this conversation, as well as looking for someone to blame for this age-inappropriate knowledge). No, you can’t. What is the f-bomb? Please don’t let it be the real deal…
Joseph: (ever so quietly whispers) Fricking.
Me: Yup. (Phew!!) Where did you hear that?
Joseph: You know cell phone Mike? The one that yells all the time? Well, the other day I heard him yelling at his dogs and he said it THREE TIMES!!
Me: (still scanning for the right way to handle this.) That’s not good at all. We don’t say those words and I never want to hear that you’ve said them here, or with your friends.
Just then, on the TV (I was watching Jimmy Fallon from a few nights ago – no judgement, please. It was on before he came in the room) Russell Crowe throws out the word “hell” in conversation.
Joseph: See! He just said one.
Me: (shit! fumbling for the remote). Yes, he did.
Channel changed to PBS – Arthur is on. Lo and behold the episode is about swearing and why we don’t do it! Thank you, kind Lord, for that. I owe you one. Or 100.
By the way, what in the world are Arthur and DW anyway?? And if you haven’t seen the episode, you may want to look it up and save it for a rainy day.